Monday, February 9, 2009

What's is a stimulus payment?

The Economic Stimulus Individual Payments program will be explained in this Government sponsored Q & A period:

Citizen to Government Official: What is a stimulus payment?
Government Official: A stimulus payment is your federal government giving you free money in hopes you will spend that free money and help stimulate the US economy.

Citizen: Where does the free money come from?
Government: The check you will receive is generated through your tax payments.

Citizen: ... but my tax dollars are the original source of all Government money... so you mean my tax dollars are just coming back to me?
Government: Correct... another question please!

Citizen: Why don't you just let us keep more of our own money instead of sending it to Washington DC?
Government: The Government needs to administer the money so it's fair for everyone.

Citizen: What do mean 'fair' to 'everyone'?
Government: Some people that did not pay taxes need to get tax money they didn't pay given back to them.
Citizen: What?
Government: Next question please!

Citizen: But if they didn't pay taxes... then they're getting money from the people that did pay taxes?
Government: It's called 'spreading the wealth around'... now sit down and shut-up.

Citizen: On what do you suggest we spend the Government money which is really our money?
Government: Well... if you buy a car the money will go to Japan, Korea or Germany. If you buy a new Computer the money will go to India. If you buy a new digital TV the money will go to China. If you buy fresh fruits and vegetables the money will go to Mexico and Central America. If you fill your tank the money will go to the Arabs. If you buy a bunch of useless crap you don't need... the money will go to Taiwan. We suggest you go to garage sales, your local liquor store or any fast food outlet.

Citizen: Gee... thanks... I think!

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